"I see," said the blind man to his deaf daughter*

* I often heard this saying as a child - my dad was the one who usually said it.

Since my LASIK surgery, my vision gets better and better everyday.
I had a check-up last week, and I have a pet peeve. The receptionist sits me in the special chair with all the eye equipment attached. On the wall, across the room, is the eye chart. I usually have to wait 5 minutes before the doctor comes in. I usually fill my time looking at all the things around the room, including the eye chart.
Then the doctor comes in, and he has me read the eye chart with each eye. He usually has me read the same 2 lines with each eye. Then he moves the special eye equipment into place and proceeds to check both eyes, and I will again read the same two lines on the eye chart.
What is my pet peeve?
I have seen the same lines on the eye chart so many times that I know what the letters are. How does that check my vision when I know it goes ---- A ---- P----O, etc? I even know that there is always a number at the end of each line. It starts with 6 then the next line ends with 5 and the next line ends with 4 and you *think* the next line will end with 3, but here is the trick - it actually ends with a 5!
Shouldn't they be changing up the letters if they really want to check my vision? And shouldn't they have the eye chart covered when I am waiting for the doctor? This would prevent people from looking at it with both eyes (I could stand right in front of it and memorize it if I wanted to - but I don't).

Easter Pictures

March Can't Make Up It's Mind

On Monday, big-fluffy-cotton balls dropped from the sky. On Tuesday, after taking Abbie to school, I walked around the house and neighborhood and snapped several pictures. It was quite lovely and chilly. By noon, the snow was gone. By 3:00, it was sunny and warm. I had the windows rolled down in the car, and we stopped for a pina colada smoothie at Java Rush - one of our favorite places.

Music

I try to update my music playlist as often as I can. I just wish all my favorite songs were available on playlist.
In case you've never listened to Foreplay/Long time, take the time to listen to it. It is a long song. It is instrumental in the beginning - Foreplay, and then the lyrics begin during Longtime. Just step away from the computer while it is playing, clean house or something, and just listen.

I need a new pair of britches

On Friday, I visited a friend's farm. They have lots of animals: ponies, horses, ginnies, goats, silkies, donkeys, dogs, etc. They have a baby donkey named Punkin. Punkin thinks she is a dog and runs around the yard like a pet. While I was petting her and talking to her and calling her "Pumpkin," the eight year old corrected me and said, "Her name is Punkin."
That made me realize that I've lost --- not so much my southern accent ---my use of common southern/country words and sayings.
I realized that I talk much differently now than when I was eight years old.
I've always thought of my family and relatives as country folks (Southern too but mostly "country" comes to mind).
Isn't there some kind of child study that shows that children are influenced by their family first and then by their peers? That was the case for me.
We moved from the county to a house inside the city limits when I was 3. Even though we lived in town, we went "to the country" (that's what we called it) quite often to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins - we were the only ones to live in town. So the country life had a huge influence on me. I didn't realize that I talked (tawked) different until third grade. A new girl was in my class and she had just moved to Greeneville from Illinois. One day, her dad said to me, "talk some more, I like to hear how you say things." I didn't know what he was talking about. Here are some of the distinctive words I used:
dawg = dog
britches = pants/jeans
brichey lag = the leg of my pants "I got my brichey lag caught in my bicycle chain."
rag = wash cloth
warsh = wash
ye = you
punkin = pumpkin
ain't = isn't, not, etc
meeilk = milk
far = fire
shoot/dang/dern = shit/damn
dinner = noon meal
supper = evening meal
Maybe I'll think of more examples later.
So in third grade, someone else brought to my attention that I spoke funny. But it didn't faze me or cause me to change the way I spoke.
I was always very good at spelling, but it wasn't until middle school that I realized that the way I spoke contributed to spelling errors. The first time a teacher circled "punkin" in red, I was floored! The real spelling had an M and a second P - holy cow, who knew!!??!!
Late in middle school and early in high school, I started caring much more about my grades. And I was paying a lot of attention in English class (yes, I know you're not supposed to start a sentence with "and," but this is not a term paper). When the teacher told us that "ain't" was not a word, I went home and repeated this information around the supper table. I was met with silence, and they didn't really care. Eventually, I decided that my family needed me to teach them all the cool new facts I was learning. If someone said dawg, I would tell them the correct pronunciation. Unfortunately, my family did not enjoy my speech lessons. They soon started to consider me a snob, and they didn't like being corrected.
Over the years, I have learned that it is better to try to fit in with whomever I am with (yes, I know I'm not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition). So I talk country with my family, and not so country with everyone else. Since I don't write term papers anymore, I've become rusty on all the grammar rules. I can never remember when to use lay/lie or affect/effect. I used to really, really care about all that stuff, but I just don't anymore. But feel free to correct me - it won't hurt my feelings. :)
But I don't say punkin anymore or britches. Although I will be calling the donkey "Punkin." Because that's her name.

A legitimate excuse

While watching the season finale of October Road tonight, there was a perfect quotable line. You need to say this whenever you need to make an excuse for something you've done, when you want to apologize, when you want to explain why you did something wrong. As you are fumbling along with your flawed reasoning, just blurt, "because there are no more Harry Potter books." That should do it!

Conversations with Paul:
While trying to determine which band sang a specific song, I asked Paul if it was REO Speedwagon or Loverboy. Stunned that I would even think he would have a clue, he said, "I don't know!!!"
Turns out it was REO Speedwagon - yea for me - and I am stunned that I thought he would know.

I was reading a p0rnn* book, when....

* I purposefully spelled that wrong so this blog doesn't end up as a google hit for perverts!

I wasn't really looking at a p0rnn book, but I could have been looking at something embarassing! Here's the story: I was minding my own business at Barnes & Noble at 2pm on a weekday, sitting in the floor, browsing several books on grant writing, when the chairman of the school board (which I am a member) came by with his 1 year old son. He said, "I think I'll buy a book on grant writing." He was just teasing, trying to get my attention. I looked up when I realized that I recognized the voice. It was no big deal. We had a nice conversation.

As I was leaving the store with my purchase, I realized that he could have caught me looking at something embarrassing. Because, honestly, I browse all kinds of things because I am a curious person and I like to learn. Now, I just buy the regular books, but I've been known to look at (browse, read a little, flip through) whatever catches my eye on the shelves. I don't go looking for these books, sometimes the marketing people strategically arrange the books so that they practically grab me as I'm walking by (see, it's not my fault). I mean, I could have been looking at Confessions of a P0rnn Star or Naked Pictures of Famous Movie Stars or an oversized picture book of Bizarre Mating Habits of Primates or Anarchists for Dummies. You get the picture. It really would have embarassed me!

So now, I am going to have to sandwich my illicit browsing material between Pride & Prejudice and Forbes magazine and slink over to the computer book section (where not too many people frequent) and stand with my back to the wall, pull my ball cap down, put my sunglasses on, and cut my eyes around the store after each sentence or picture while browsing How to Take Care of Hemorrhoids.

Conversations with Abbie:

While watching bull riding on cable, I told Abbie that I've always thought that men in cowboy hats look really cute. She said, "Why don't you just buy dad a cowboy hat?"