Can You Be A Little Agoraphobic?

Lately, I've been feeling a little agoraphobic. People who know me would say that can't be true because I leave the house everyday - sometimes 3 times a day.
Yet, I feel like I don't go anywhere anymore - on purpose. I do take Abbie to school, and I do pick her up from school, and I take her to ballet. And I go to church. And I love to go out to eat and to the bookstore. Or for ice cream.

So if all that is true, how could I feel agoraphobic? Since I don't panic or get anxious about going out then I can't truely be agoraphobic. But I do seem to be more and more reclusive.

I put off going to the grocery store or Target as long as possible. I prefer to do my school run and then come straight home. And I don't go back out after I get home. The thought of running 2-3 errands does not appeal to me.

The other day, I went to the Mall to return something (I didn't buy it, Paul did - further proof that I haven't been shopping) then I stopped in Gymboree (which was conveniently close to the store where I made the return). Our Mall is undergoing remodeling and new stores are being added. In the distance, I saw a new store open, and I vaguely wondered what it was and that I'd like to go there - but I didn't. I thought about going downstairs to a department store, but I talked myself out of it. I decided to leave without really shopping - I do like to shop.

I've been wanting to go to the bookstore for about a week and still haven't gone. That fact alone shows just how acute my reclusiveness is.

Just talking out loud here in order to give myself a little therapy - maybe a little insight into why I never want to go anywhere.

The only idea I can come up with is that I am really sick of the drive to and from town. Based on some people's commute, I shouldn't complain. But I just want to be there! I want to get in the car, pass maybe 2 stop lights, make a few turns and BE THERE ALREADY.

And last idea is that our home has become an oasis. We're getting plenty of rain, our lawn is very green and lush, so many flowers are blooming, the house is clean (mostly due to the possibility of needing to show it at any moment). Hey, maybe I don't want to shop because I've done so much decluttering......

Well, I have planned some shopping rehab the middle of the month. I'm taking my hot, little church paycheck and going shopping in Knoxville. I'm even spending the night. If I find a cure, I'll let you know.

Until then, I'll be here, at home.

You're Invited

Abbie will be dancing in her ballet company's recital on Friday, May 29 at 7:00 pm at Seeger Chapel, Milligan College. They are doing a production of Snow White. She's going to be Bashful, a dwarf. She will also be in a jazz number - separate from the Snow White storyline. {She is reading over my shoulder and says she likes Jazz the best.}

Right after her recital, we are leaving for our vacation! Yay- it's not that far away!

And in December, she will be dancing in The Nutcracker. Don't know dates or times yet or her role. But it's an honor for her just to be asked!

Bird Watching

After visiting my dad today, Abbie and I went to my mom's house. She was just finishing up a Butterscotch Pie. We sat and talked while Abbie and I ate a late lunch. Eventually, we ate a piece of pie (Mom couldn't wait for it to completely cool). It was delicious! I have the recipe and might make one this week.

At her house, we always hang out in the kitchen. She has her rocking chair facing the backyard where she does a lot of bird watching. She kept telling us about all the bird happenings - which birds were building nests, which birds she has seen lately, etc. She also has full view of her bird bath which is quite a popular hangout. Birds were in and out of it, splashing and drinking, the whole time we were there.
After scraping the pie plate clean, we went outside so Abbie could swing. Mom has a wooden, bench-style (porch) swing mounted on big square beams (with ivy growing and climbing all around - it is idyllic). On either end, she has regular, child-size swings. She and I sat together in the porch swing while Abbie ran around nearby. The bird play-by-play continued. She knows all the regulars - the bluebirds, the wrens, finches, chickadees, mockingbirds, starlings, house martins, etc.
Basically, my mom's backyard is a nice habitat for birds and butterflies. She also has a fish pond, and we saw a frog in it today. There is nothing formal about her gardens - she plants what she wants, where she wants without any any true planning for curb appeal. She grows many plants that the butterflies like, and she has the birdbath, numerous bird houses and gourds and lots of places for a bird to perch. She also has a grape arbor (not sure if arbor is the right word, but she has one, whatever it is). The birds love perching there and building nests.

I love sitting with her, shooting the breeze. We don't discuss politics or gossip about family or talk about anything "heavy." Bird watching is fine with me!

Enjoyable

Since resigning from one his jobs, Paul is working 3 days a week. He has 4 day weekends!
He is home with me on Monday and Friday while Abbie is in school (he usually takes her to school on those days - I get to sleep in a little).
So far, we've been doing house projects, but we are mostly done. I told him today that we need to start planning dates - go out to eat, maybe take a drive, go to a movie (stuff Abbie can't watch). He agreed. I'm looking forward to that.
He did do a small project today then he and I went mattress shopping. It feels kind of strange to be out together, shopping on a weekday. But I could get used to this!
So far we have not experienced that married-couple-retires-and-discover-that-they-can't-stand-spending-all-day-together syndrome.
I'm hoping we can keep this schedule for as long as possible.
While eating lunch today at Olive Garden, we were discussing how to pronounce certain meal options in Italian. I said I'd like to visit Italy (we've both read a few books set in Italy, but we're not experts). Paul liked that idea too. He said if we sell our house and still haven't found a house we want to buy, it would be the perfect opportunity for him to do a Locum Tenens....Italy, Australia, Hawaii, or some other place we'd like to visit. Who knows? It might work out........

On the Market

Our new bathroom paint color. Too bad the pics don't show the new crown molding.

Paul put in this new sink top and cabinet (but Stephen did make an emergency visit to help him - it's so nice to have friends that will drop everything and come over when you're in need). We finally have double sinks. I can barely get used to it!

Abbie's new desk where she does her homework.

This room is always clean b/c we never use it (well, hardly).

New kitchen paint color. Is this a sitting area or a keeping room? Dunno.

New paint color in sunroom.

It's clean. No slacks hanging over the foot of the bed, etc. Luckily, you can't see my bedside table where there are about 50 books and magazines. I might get bored and need to read something...

Guest room, but it now has a new modern, colorful bedspread.

Pretty dogwood blooming. Everything is nice and green b/c we've had plenty of rain and cool weather.

Our new black shutters - they used to be white and the black looks classier. The white ones were old, cracked and yellowed. And there were a ton of wasp nests behind the old shutters.

Tomorrow, our house officially goes on the market and the "for sale" sign will go in the yard. It feels bittersweet. There are so many things I like about living here in this house, in this neighborhood and in this area.

Someone told me this week that the city high school is going to stop taking county students (we are in the county) so that is one more reason to move into the city. But still.....