Can You Be A Little Agoraphobic?

Lately, I've been feeling a little agoraphobic. People who know me would say that can't be true because I leave the house everyday - sometimes 3 times a day.
Yet, I feel like I don't go anywhere anymore - on purpose. I do take Abbie to school, and I do pick her up from school, and I take her to ballet. And I go to church. And I love to go out to eat and to the bookstore. Or for ice cream.

So if all that is true, how could I feel agoraphobic? Since I don't panic or get anxious about going out then I can't truely be agoraphobic. But I do seem to be more and more reclusive.

I put off going to the grocery store or Target as long as possible. I prefer to do my school run and then come straight home. And I don't go back out after I get home. The thought of running 2-3 errands does not appeal to me.

The other day, I went to the Mall to return something (I didn't buy it, Paul did - further proof that I haven't been shopping) then I stopped in Gymboree (which was conveniently close to the store where I made the return). Our Mall is undergoing remodeling and new stores are being added. In the distance, I saw a new store open, and I vaguely wondered what it was and that I'd like to go there - but I didn't. I thought about going downstairs to a department store, but I talked myself out of it. I decided to leave without really shopping - I do like to shop.

I've been wanting to go to the bookstore for about a week and still haven't gone. That fact alone shows just how acute my reclusiveness is.

Just talking out loud here in order to give myself a little therapy - maybe a little insight into why I never want to go anywhere.

The only idea I can come up with is that I am really sick of the drive to and from town. Based on some people's commute, I shouldn't complain. But I just want to be there! I want to get in the car, pass maybe 2 stop lights, make a few turns and BE THERE ALREADY.

And last idea is that our home has become an oasis. We're getting plenty of rain, our lawn is very green and lush, so many flowers are blooming, the house is clean (mostly due to the possibility of needing to show it at any moment). Hey, maybe I don't want to shop because I've done so much decluttering......

Well, I have planned some shopping rehab the middle of the month. I'm taking my hot, little church paycheck and going shopping in Knoxville. I'm even spending the night. If I find a cure, I'll let you know.

Until then, I'll be here, at home.