Life Isn't Fair - And That's Normal

Life isn't fair, and it's best to learn that lesson early in life. It's not fair when the hot item to have is a Coke shirt and your mom buys you the Pepsi shirt (it does matter, mom!) - that some oppossoms don't make it all the way across the road - that some people are unforgiving - that some people have medusa hair and some have perfect hair - that some don't obey the rules of the road - that I can't text as fast as my nieces - that some exes won't "friend me" on Facebook (hey dude, it's been forever - get over it!) and the list goes on and on.

Abbie has taken ballet for several years now, at least for 5 years. Her company teaches classical ballet which is hard to find here (although there are lots of places that teach dance). Her teachers take ballet very serious. They think ballet and ballet practice should come before ALL else. Although they wouldn't want you to come to class if you were sick, they expect you to come to every class (see the conflict?), take classes in the summer, and sign up for extra classes when they have special guest teachers. If you do all that, you get better parts in the recitals (as long as you can actually dance). And when the day of the recital comes, you better dance whether you have the flu or any deadly disease. It makes complete sense to me, and I think that is fair-ish if you are that dedicated to ballet and understand the expectations upfront.

So far, we haven't been that dedicated - our choice. By the time summer rolls around, I need a break, and Abbie is sick of it (although now that she has changed teachers, she is enjoying it a lot more). Since she enjoys ballet, we continue to sign up every year.

Since Abbie says she wants to dance in the Nutcracker in December, we had to agree to sign up for summer classes and attend extra practice for the performance. I explained these requirements to Abbie, and she still wanted to do it.

Right now, her class is preparing for the end-of-year recital. She goes to regular class once a week and now has to go to extra practice on Saturdays. Last Friday, her school called me to pick her up b/c she was sick. She threw up later that night so I didn't take her to the Saturday ballet class - she probably got dinged for that.

At Tuesday's class, I noticed that the teacher was playing a new song that I hadn't heard before. Several moms were crowded around the door to watch them do a new dance for the upcoming recital. But not all of the girls in the class were participating in the dance. Abbie was one of the girls sitting out along with 4 others, but it wasn't b/c Abbie had missed the last Saturday class b/c weeks ago I had heard the teacher tell select moms to come early to practice (earlier than the time listed on the practice schedule). So the teacher had this dance and the dancers chosen awhile back. And you could tell they had had practice at some undisclosed place and time.

As I was leaving class on Tuesday, the moms of the girls who were sitting out for the extra dance were trooping in to see the teacher. I'm sure they thought it wasn't fair. I think they think the teacher is playing favorites. One mom thinks it is a passive-aggressive slight b/c her child had to leave a few classes early for a ball game. There probably is some favoritism going on, and that isn't fair, but life isn't fair, and I understand that. I'm not going to get mad and leave - that won't solve anything. But I'm not going to kiss anybody's butt (why I'd never make it in Hollywood - not that Hollywood wants me! :) ).

From the beginning, when Abbie started ballet, I sat back and watched everything going on around me, and I picked up some of these undercurrents - I figured out the way they do things. I feel sorry for the new moms who are just now learning how it all works. I almost can't wait for the possible drama next week!

Moms

I spent a very nice day with my mom and with Abbie.
Paul and Abbie made breakfast for me this morning, got me flowers, and a surprise gift.
Later, we loaded up the car to go to my mom's house. It was Paul's idea to go to my mom's today and fix her lunch.
{Btw, Paul did try to call his mom and got voicemail. Maybe she had to work}
I don't think my mom liked anything I made, but that is okay. I don't cook much anymore, and even though I love her, I had no plans to cook an elaborate meal. And my mom is sort of a food snob - not in a cranky, mean way - she just mostly likes her own cooking. And ever since she had a brain aneurysm, her sense of taste is off (and she can't smell anymore either).
As soon as we got there, I started making a butterscotch pie. During the process, I set off the smoke alarm. Even though I didn't let the filling cook long enough to get thick enough, the pie turned out great, and it was the one thing she liked. You had to eat the pie with a spoon, but it was yummy!
While I worked on the pie, Paul put together a salad and grated all the cheese for fondue. She didn't like the fondue either. It had a bottle of beer in it, and I think that funked it up too much for her. I did mean to say "funk" because that is how I would describe the added flavor (Paul and I like it).
We also made chili pie - corn chips, chili, and cheese. Chili was from a can - regular not hot. But she thought it was spicy so she didn't eat much.
She also wondered what kind of lettuce was in the salad. It was from a bag, and I couldn't remember. She picked at it. If it had been regular iceberg and had had tomatoes in it, she probably would have been okay with it. She did like the cucumbers Paul put in it.
Normally, I like people to like my cooking, but her lack of interest in my mediocre cooking didn't hurt my feelings. I know how she is. My stepdad, on the other hand, had seconds of everything.

Here's more info about my mom's weird food snobbery. When she travels, she starves because she doesn't like other people's cooking. She traveled extensively up the east coast and didn't like any of the food. Not even the amish cooking. She's even been to Paula Deen's restaurant and wasn't impressed. She went to some fancy restaurant, and the waitress noticed she was picking at her food, and she asked my mom if something was wrong. My mom said she had never had green beans the way they cooked them (I think they were long, skinny, green beans that had been lightly sauted). The waitress was shocked and said the restaurant was known for their green beans. She asked my mom how she cooked hers, and my mom told her. She cooks her green beans a LONG time with bacon grease and a hunk of bacon or ham and plenty of salt and pepper. One morning, they stopped in a Hardee's (somewhere up north), and my mom was excited (they had been traveling for weeks and she was beginning to starve from lack of homecooking). She stepped up to the counter and ordered biscuits and gravy (what she orders from Hardees at home). The employee informed her that they didn't have biscuits and gravy. My mom asked if they were out, and the lady said, "no, people don't eat that around here, but we have porridge." Boy, was she shocked and disappointed.

Growing up, the only drinks we had at our house was water (a given), whole milk (what she still buys), and tea (of course, it is sweet, anything else is sacriligious/dishwater). Anytime my mom has been in the hospital for surgery (and she's had several), she asks for tea as soon as she comes out of recovery. Not just any tea will do, it has to be her own tea, and of course, the nurses only want her to have water so soon out of surgery. We have to sneak it in (you can't ignore her request). When she travels, especially up north, you can't get sweet tea. And even if you could get sweet tea, she doesn't like anyone elses. She tolerates mine (I make it just like she does). Now when she travels, she makes her own tea on the road. And to get the authenitic taste that she is used to, she brings her own sugar and her own tap water from home. It's her way or nothing!

And in other news, this weekend was the annual Iris Show in Greeneville (goes along with their Iris Festival). My mom won BEST IN SHOW for her Iris named Supreme Sultan. This is the first "named" Iris that she ever owned, and I bought it for her several years ago (I had forgotten that, but she reminded me). She now owns numerous named Irises, and her garden is phenomenal! I'm so proud of her!

Abbie and I had a great day together too. She got me a "singing" card - she loves to pick those out. She helped me and Paul cook lunch. Then she played outside with my mom's dog. She and I borrowed my mom's scooter and rode it around the block. She is going to sleep with me tonight - as a special Mother's Day treat for her.

Bad Word

Some men are just rat bastards (not any of mine).

And no matter how hard you try, you just can't save some people from them. :(

Vivid Dream

Last night (or early this morning), I had a vivid dream. I'd love for someone to psychoanalyze it:

I dreamed that me and Angelina Jolie were BFFs. She was showing me her new tattoo on her ankle - she hadn't even shown it to Brad yet. Then she described for me a tattoo that Brad had on his back.
Then we took a drive, I was driving, she was shotgun. We were on a dark, country road, and she asked me to pull over so she could check her mailbox. There were large fruit bats perched in trees and on fences along the road (it wasn't scary though). I pulled over on the left side of the road, up close to the mailbox. But the mailbox was deep so I had to lean out of the car to get to all the mail. While I was getting the mail, Angelina had to get out of the car for some reason. Up ahead, I saw a car coming our way (deserted, dark, country road - remember?). I was pushing all the button on the steering wheel, trying to find the hazard lights so the other car wouldn't run into me because I was parked on the wrong side of the road. Angelina was no where in sight. I was calling, "Angelinaaaa....." over and over and then I woke up.
Weird!

Things I Miss

Portions of this post are dedicated to my sister-in-law Theresa. *

I miss (in no particular order):

*Bacon, specifically Oscar Mayer center cut crispy bacon
Ham and Cheese sandwiches from Pals
Club Sandwiches (cause they have ham and bacon on them)
Pork Tenderloin
Pulled Pork Barbeque
Watson
Molly
Ellie
Loved ones who have passed away
Size 6 clothes
The beach
My motorcycle
A tan
Baklava, my sister rarely makes this and hers is the best
The desire to shop
Irises, I don't have any planted, but my mom has several. When we move, I'll plant some
Battlestar Galactica
October Road
Past coworkers who have moved away
Local scrapbook store
A special green ice cream from my childhood that they don't make anymore
Playing board games and card games
and..................bacon!