Life Isn't Fair - And That's Normal

Life isn't fair, and it's best to learn that lesson early in life. It's not fair when the hot item to have is a Coke shirt and your mom buys you the Pepsi shirt (it does matter, mom!) - that some oppossoms don't make it all the way across the road - that some people are unforgiving - that some people have medusa hair and some have perfect hair - that some don't obey the rules of the road - that I can't text as fast as my nieces - that some exes won't "friend me" on Facebook (hey dude, it's been forever - get over it!) and the list goes on and on.

Abbie has taken ballet for several years now, at least for 5 years. Her company teaches classical ballet which is hard to find here (although there are lots of places that teach dance). Her teachers take ballet very serious. They think ballet and ballet practice should come before ALL else. Although they wouldn't want you to come to class if you were sick, they expect you to come to every class (see the conflict?), take classes in the summer, and sign up for extra classes when they have special guest teachers. If you do all that, you get better parts in the recitals (as long as you can actually dance). And when the day of the recital comes, you better dance whether you have the flu or any deadly disease. It makes complete sense to me, and I think that is fair-ish if you are that dedicated to ballet and understand the expectations upfront.

So far, we haven't been that dedicated - our choice. By the time summer rolls around, I need a break, and Abbie is sick of it (although now that she has changed teachers, she is enjoying it a lot more). Since she enjoys ballet, we continue to sign up every year.

Since Abbie says she wants to dance in the Nutcracker in December, we had to agree to sign up for summer classes and attend extra practice for the performance. I explained these requirements to Abbie, and she still wanted to do it.

Right now, her class is preparing for the end-of-year recital. She goes to regular class once a week and now has to go to extra practice on Saturdays. Last Friday, her school called me to pick her up b/c she was sick. She threw up later that night so I didn't take her to the Saturday ballet class - she probably got dinged for that.

At Tuesday's class, I noticed that the teacher was playing a new song that I hadn't heard before. Several moms were crowded around the door to watch them do a new dance for the upcoming recital. But not all of the girls in the class were participating in the dance. Abbie was one of the girls sitting out along with 4 others, but it wasn't b/c Abbie had missed the last Saturday class b/c weeks ago I had heard the teacher tell select moms to come early to practice (earlier than the time listed on the practice schedule). So the teacher had this dance and the dancers chosen awhile back. And you could tell they had had practice at some undisclosed place and time.

As I was leaving class on Tuesday, the moms of the girls who were sitting out for the extra dance were trooping in to see the teacher. I'm sure they thought it wasn't fair. I think they think the teacher is playing favorites. One mom thinks it is a passive-aggressive slight b/c her child had to leave a few classes early for a ball game. There probably is some favoritism going on, and that isn't fair, but life isn't fair, and I understand that. I'm not going to get mad and leave - that won't solve anything. But I'm not going to kiss anybody's butt (why I'd never make it in Hollywood - not that Hollywood wants me! :) ).

From the beginning, when Abbie started ballet, I sat back and watched everything going on around me, and I picked up some of these undercurrents - I figured out the way they do things. I feel sorry for the new moms who are just now learning how it all works. I almost can't wait for the possible drama next week!