A legitimate excuse

While watching the season finale of October Road tonight, there was a perfect quotable line. You need to say this whenever you need to make an excuse for something you've done, when you want to apologize, when you want to explain why you did something wrong. As you are fumbling along with your flawed reasoning, just blurt, "because there are no more Harry Potter books." That should do it!

Conversations with Paul:
While trying to determine which band sang a specific song, I asked Paul if it was REO Speedwagon or Loverboy. Stunned that I would even think he would have a clue, he said, "I don't know!!!"
Turns out it was REO Speedwagon - yea for me - and I am stunned that I thought he would know.

I was reading a p0rnn* book, when....

* I purposefully spelled that wrong so this blog doesn't end up as a google hit for perverts!

I wasn't really looking at a p0rnn book, but I could have been looking at something embarassing! Here's the story: I was minding my own business at Barnes & Noble at 2pm on a weekday, sitting in the floor, browsing several books on grant writing, when the chairman of the school board (which I am a member) came by with his 1 year old son. He said, "I think I'll buy a book on grant writing." He was just teasing, trying to get my attention. I looked up when I realized that I recognized the voice. It was no big deal. We had a nice conversation.

As I was leaving the store with my purchase, I realized that he could have caught me looking at something embarrassing. Because, honestly, I browse all kinds of things because I am a curious person and I like to learn. Now, I just buy the regular books, but I've been known to look at (browse, read a little, flip through) whatever catches my eye on the shelves. I don't go looking for these books, sometimes the marketing people strategically arrange the books so that they practically grab me as I'm walking by (see, it's not my fault). I mean, I could have been looking at Confessions of a P0rnn Star or Naked Pictures of Famous Movie Stars or an oversized picture book of Bizarre Mating Habits of Primates or Anarchists for Dummies. You get the picture. It really would have embarassed me!

So now, I am going to have to sandwich my illicit browsing material between Pride & Prejudice and Forbes magazine and slink over to the computer book section (where not too many people frequent) and stand with my back to the wall, pull my ball cap down, put my sunglasses on, and cut my eyes around the store after each sentence or picture while browsing How to Take Care of Hemorrhoids.

Conversations with Abbie:

While watching bull riding on cable, I told Abbie that I've always thought that men in cowboy hats look really cute. She said, "Why don't you just buy dad a cowboy hat?"

So long, piggies!

I've decided to stop eating pork.
This shouldn't be too much of a surprise since I am a big animal lover. And really, this decision has been a long time coming. I've thought about it a lot over the years (mostly about beef). And I'm not much of a meat & potatoes kind of girl anyway. I just felt like God was really talking to me about this. Here were the signs:
#1) I read a book about the conditions on pig farms and slaughterhouses
#2) Then I had a dream about having a pig that I kept in the bathroom.
#3) Then I told a friend about the pig dream, and she said, "that is so weird because I just had a dream in which I found a note that said, "Give the pig to Lorrie.""
#4) Then Abbie brought home her next novel studies book, Charlotte's Web. After reading the first chapter together, which is about a girl rescuing a pig from getting killed, I decided that God had sent me enough signs.
Of course, maybe I'm not supposed to stop eating pork. There are other possibilities:
#1) Get a pet pig
#2) Tell everyone about the atrocities at pig farms and slaughterhouses
#3) Maybe God is not talking to me at all
#4) Maybe I am crazy and should stop looking for signs from God, karma, etc
#5) all of the above
But I'm still going to stop eating pork. And it won't be easy. I like bacon (lots of it), pork tenderloin, pork barbeque, ribs and sausage.
However, I don't plan to be ridiculous about this. I might eat pork once a month. Is that too wishy-washy? I might just decide to make annual donations to the League of Animal Defense fund (I'm not really sure the name of the charity) instead of going semi-vegetarian. I'm sure giving up beef will be down the road too. I pass these sweet mother cows and their calves all the time - they are such good mothers - so this has been bothering me for some time.
So we'll see how this goes. I plan to stick with it, and Paul is supportive of my decision.
If I had a picture of a pig, I'd post it here. If you go to Cuteoverload.com and scroll back (click "previous week" 3 times), you'll find pictures of a mama dachshund that has adopted a piglet. Too cute!
Conversations with Abbie
I said, "Abbie, someday when you move out...." She interrupted me to say, "Mom, you know I am always going to live with you and dad!"

I am not left handed

"I am not left handed" is a quote from The Princess Bride.

As it turns out, "I am not left handed either" (the stuff in quotes is another line from The Princess Bride), but I am left eye dominant. When I went to the TLC eye surgery center, they ran a battery of tests on me. One of the tests showed that I am left eye dominant which is rare since I am right handed. I just thought that was a neat little tidbit especially since my left eye is way worse then my right eye.

I'm not sure if this is typical or not, but I always carry Abbie with my left arm. Shouldn't I favor my right arm since it is typically your strongest arm if you are right handed? But it makes sense to me that I carry Abbie with my left arm so that my right arm is free to use. Maybe this is not an interesting tidbit.....

I did the test on Paul, and he is right eye dominant. I should try it out on Abbie too.

Genius Idea - now I haven't really thought this one through, but at first glance, it seems like a good idea. To stimulate the economy (or just plastic surgeons' income), I think the government should give a tax incentive if you pay for your wife to get a boob job (people who already have boob jobs would not qualify). All those guys on the fence (and women) would probably finally decide to go for it assuming their wives want and need a boob job.

And for the people who don't want or need a boob job, then the gov't could offer a nice one-time tax deduction if you buy a new frig, tv, washer/dryer or stove. Or heck, any home improvement type item. Video games would not qualify, but shoes would. Makeup would not qualify but bras would. Now I'm really brainstorming! Ha! Ha!

Conversations with Abbie

As Paul polishes off his bottle of Miller Genuine Draft, Abbie reminds him, "Dad, you can't drive for an hour."

Pictures from Las Vegas and Los Angeles