We are idiots

My third post today.
We spent the Fourth of July with my family at Horse Creek. My mom and stepdad were camping along with my brother and his family.
We knew that fireworks were not allowed in the park, but we brought along sparklers for the kids. But some things bring out the kid in me (sparklers, animals, ice cream trucks,...) so I had to have my share of sparkler fun too. A little later in the evening, my brother said, "You think it would be okay to light the "frog?" When you light it, it's eyes and mouth light up and glow and it shoots sparks out. That should be okay, right? What do you think, Paul?"
Paul hemmed and hawed and said he didn't know. Then I, the redneck sister, said, "Surely it would be okay." Then Paul and Craig tried to find the right spot for it so be sure no sparks were thrown on the camper canopy or trees. No one put up any resistance to lighting the "frog."
Oooooo! It's eyes and mouth did glow! It did shoot up some sparks....at first. Then it popped and banged and shot up big sparks high into the air.....then it did it some more....and some more. I knew right away that we were going to get in trouble. As soon as it finished, we all sat down and acted like civilized folks - not the kind that would shoot fireworks in a national park. About 5 minutes later, the camping attendent showed up and handed out the rules, but luckily, not a ticket. I asked my stepdad if the rules said anything about redneck sisters egging their brother on.
Last night, July 5, we shot our own fireworks at home. We live in the county and do not have restrictions on fireworks. Many neighbors shot them on the July 4th and 5th. Along with all the other cautionary blurbs on the fireworks (such as "explosive device"..."do not hold in hand"..."flameable") there should also be the following warning: "Anyone who touches this incendiary device will lose all rational, intelligent thought and will make stupid decisions and will likely act like a redneck fool."
We only bought a few fireworks, and with little knowledge, the ones I picked were the best, in my opinion. There were these things called Ladybugs - they spun around, glowed, threw sparks, and shot up high and sparked some more. There were only 3 in the box, and I wish had bought more. We had 3 neon sparklers. Cool but they smoked a lot. Paul chose some rockets that were a little better and larger than bottle rockets. However, we didn't have a proper bottle to hold them upright so sometimes they shot up in a wonky direction. I have had bad experiences with bottle rockets so Abbie and I stood inside the garage door and peeked around the corner until we were sure where the rocket was headed (hopefully not at our heads) then we would hurry outside to watch it explode in the sky. Then I pulled out a little package of Zips. There were about 6 in the pack. The description said that they spun and sparked. No big deal, right? About 2 were duds. The good ones spun really fast then made a zzzzzerrrrrmmmmm noise as they shot into the air. Paul wanted to light two at one time, but I protested saying that might cause them to spin into each other and then we wouldn't know which way they would zoom. So he lit the last 2 one at a time. Since these little guys were unpredictable, Abbie and I again hid in the garage and peeked around the corner. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I AM A WUSS!
The last Zip decided to "zip" into the garage -----past me and Abbie ---- into the house----right past the gas can ----- near the lawn mower ----right past Paul's Z ----in a location near other gaseous devices and containers. Luckily, we are alive and unburnt.