Abbie's New Phase

Parenting takes you through so many interesting phases. I've been through many phases but not all. For example, Abbie had a short tantrum phase and a mini-biting phase - so I don't consider myself an expert in these areas, but like Disney World, I can say I've been there.

Abbie is a really interesting young lady. Recently, she has been very contemplative about why people smoke, and more importantly, why there are people who make cigarettes if they know they are bad for a person's health. We've had many conversations about this (she starts the conversation). These conversations have led to the topic of there being people in the world who will do anything to make money - so we've discussed greed and scam artists (and she wanted very specific examples of scams).

Now, she asks a lot of questions about money and if I think it was a good idea to invent money. And she suddenly doesn't want to spend any money. She doesn't want me to buy her anything (pack of crackers, for example) at the store. At the museums in DC, she didn't want anything from gift shops and said, "I have enough stuffed animals." She didn't want to eat out in DC. She kept asking why I couldn't cook. I had to force her to let me buy her lunch - I just didn't give her a choice. If I ask if she wants anything, she will sometimes be tempted then ask, "Does it cost anything?" When I reply, "Yes" she then says "No, thanks." At a recent school field trip, she didn't want anything from the gift shop. I know some of the other parents thought I wouldn't buy her anyting, but I really did try!

One day after school, before this phase really kicked in, I asked her if she wanted to go to Marble Slab for ice cream. She immediately said yes. As soon as I pulled into a parking space and turned off the engine, she told me she had changed her mind. She said she didn't want ice cream since it wasn't fair that there are other people in the world who can't afford ice cream. It was really very sweet and kind hearted of her - and compassionate too! But I told her that we help a lot of people who are less fortunate and I listed our volunteer activities (for example, we've cooked for and served at the local soup kitchen) and I listed the places we donate money to. I tried to explain that even though we have spending money, we do try to help others who are less fortunate so she finally decided to have ice cream that day.

It will be interesting to see how long this phase lasts and which phase it will lead into.